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Politics

You have made this man happy

YOU are responsible for the overwhelming happiness of this man, Britain has been told.

Referendum includes ‘what your mates think’ option

THE referendum ballot paper includes an option for voters whose priority is not upsetting their friends, officials have explained.

Britain in historic vote that only a handful of twats wanted in the first place

BRITAIN faces a tumultuous decision today because of a relatively small number of annoying, obsessive twats, experts have confirmed.

Local man to front 'Don't Know' campaign

FATHER-OF-TWO Tom Logan is to front the 'Don't Know' campaign, it has emerged.

Re-using Nazi propaganda 'good for the environment', says Farage

RECYCLING propaganda images from the Nazis is the environmentally responsible thing to do, says Nigel Farage.

Farage and Geldof in naval battle just as prophecy foretold

NIGEL Farage has faced Bob Geldof in a pitched battle on the Thames, just like the fortune-teller said.

Murdoch to address public directly from Downing Street

RUPERT Murdoch has called a press conference at Downing Street where he will order a vote for Brexit.

Remain campaign unleashes even less likeable politicians

PRO-EU campaigners have unveiled a new slate of wildly unpopular politicians in a bid to boost the Remain vote.

This bullshit probably going to happen

THE bullshit thing nobody took seriously is probably going to occur, it has been claimed.

Farage cackling maniacally in front of bonfire

NIGEL Farage has been laughing maniacally in front of an enormous fire for the last 18 hours.