Politics

THE Labour Party has agreed to split its headquarters straight down the middle after watching a classic 1972 episode of Steptoe and Son.

LABOUR leadership contender Owen Smith has revealed plans to engage ISIS with biscuit-based chit chat.

NIGEL Farage has closely examined himself and decided his only flaw was a lack of facial hair.

JEREMY Corbyn has claimed that his left hand has been working to undermine him.

BRITONS are genuinely puzzled by what modern followers of Russian revolutionary Leon Trotsky do with their time.

DAVID Cameron cannot claim unemployment benefit for another five months because he quit his last job, it has emerged.

TWO adult humans have discussed grammar schools from opposing perspectives without either of them going off in a massive strop.

LABOUR leadership challenger Owen Smith stood on stage and said bad things about Jeremy Corbyn right to Jeremy’s face, shocked supporters have confirmed.

UKIP has announced unclear and contradictory plans for a night of drinking in a brewery.

BRITONS are worried that Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith might try to sell them life insurance or solar panels, they have revealed.