Politics

Corbyn lured away with fake Labour party

MPS have set up a decoy Labour party to keep Jeremy Corbyn harmlessly occupied while someone else takes over, they have revealed.

John Bercow confirms plan to 'take the revolution to Bolivia'

FREEDOM fighter John Bercow has announced plans to launch a revolution in Bolivia.

'Corbyn' now a slang term for useless thing

THE word 'Corbyn' has become a popular idiom for something that is utterly fucking useless.

Everyone starting to wonder if absolute maniacs are best people to be in charge

THE general public are slowly beginning to realise that absolute head cases might not be the best people to run everything.

You might be surprised to learn I don't like protesters, says May

THERESA May has admitted that she considers all protesters to be an undisciplined, filthy rabble who should be locked up.

Farage to take Trump to pub he pretends to drink in

NIGEL Farage has offered to take Donald Trump to the pub he pretends he drinks in whenever he wants to appeal to the common man.

May warns Trump not to underestimate her because she was head girl at school

THE prime minister has warned Donald Trump she may have the upper hand in negotiations because she was head girl of her grammar school.

Rising panic in Theresa May’s voice is Britain’s new favourite sound

THE note of rising dread in the prime minister’s voice as she tells the Commons a Brexit White Paper is ready is the UK’s new lullaby.

EU bill must be more than one word, say lawyers

LAWYERS have advised the government that a parliamentary bill consisting of a single word would be open to legal challenge.

Scotland and Wales can f**k off though, court rules

THE Supreme Court has confirmed that the UK’s regional parliaments and assemblies can fuck off.