Politics

Brexit plan actually more like a Clockwork Orange, confirms auditor general

THE official who compared the government's Brexit plan to a chocolate orange has clarified he actually meant the senseless brutality of the film A Clockwork Orange.

Brexiters compare Great Repeal Bill to their bollocks version of history

BREXIT supporters have compared the 'Great Repeal Bill' to the Magna Carta and other momentous historical events they do not understand.

May in worst relaunch since Opal Fruits became Starburst

THERESA May's attempted relaunch is the worst since the Opal Fruits-Starburst catastrophe of 1998, it has been confirmed.

May dumps Brexit paperwork on Corbyn’s doorstep and legs it

JEREMY Corbyn has been given all the government’s Brexit paperwork and is now responsible for the whole thing.

It's very hard for us not to be racist, Tory MPs tell Britain

TORY MPs have pleaded for understanding as they struggle to overcome their debilitating problem of being unintentionally racist.

Channel 4’s Bake Off 'may never happen', claims Vince Cable

LIB Dem leader-in-waiting Sir Vince Cable has unveiled his ‘List of Things That May Never Happen’.

You do know that I’m the leader of the Labour Party, Corbyn asks May

JEREMY Corbyn has responded to Theresa May’s appeal for his help by reminding her that he is the leader of the Labour Party.

May placed on zero-hours contract

THERESA May’s position as prime minister is on a zero-hours contract meaning she does not even know if she will be working next week.

Politics to have football-style season to give voters break from relentless horseshit

POLITICS is to be run on a season-to-season basis like football, in order to give the public regular breaks from the unbearable quantity of bullshit.

Cameron: Am I the only good, selfless person left in Britain? 

OVER the last year, I have been left aghast by the selfishness of Britons in their wilful, egocentric behaviour.