Politics

IN a crisis it’s important to feel you can trust your leaders. But we live in Britain, so here are the chancers and idiots standing between the country and disaster.

EVIL takes many forms, whether a child who is secretly the Antichrist or the MP for Witcham. Which are you?

BORIS Johnson’s opportune new baby and wedding have already covered up Priti Patel’s incompetence, but what else will they distract from?

WOULD you like to win a date with the UK’s shadow foreign secretary Priti Patel? Enter our unique competition for charity by answering these Priti-related questions. 

THE UK is slowly waking up to the fact that, in the face of an oncoming world catastrophe, it has chosen to put a d*ckhead in charge.

THERE'S always someone getting raked over the coals for exposing his penis in the news, so when is the right time to whip out the chinos cobra?

MI5 insiders have admitted withholding information from home secretary Priti Patel. What aren’t they telling her?

RESTRICTIONS on migrant workers could free up jobs for unemployed Leave voters. Here are some of the exciting opportunities on offer.  

OH NO, there’s dirty water lapping at the MDF of your flat-pack kitchen. Dear me, your dismal new-build hallway’s swimming in sh*t. Exactly why is that my problem?

BORIS Johnson and his grand vizier Dominic Cummings are hiring advisers who believe in eugenics and forced contraception. Are you unhinged enough to be one?