Politics

THE government has explained that using EU-procured medical equipment to save British lives would be high treason punishable by death.

THE home secretary has clarified that she is neither a cabinet hawk or a cabinet dove but a evil cabinet vulture.

THE government says coronavirus is all the more reason to leave the EU. Here’s why we’d never have caught it in the first place if it wasn't for Eurocrats and their regulations.

BORIS Johnson is – supposedly – the prime minister. But is the entire thing just a hoax played on a guillible country? These are the clues.

THE government has signalled that Britain could face another four weeks of lockdown, and Priti Patel could face a further 40 after that.

PRITI Patel’s constant smirk and the ongoing national crisis aren’t generally thought to go well together. Here are some ways for the home secretary to try to look more sincere.

BRITONS are nervously awaiting the all-clear from the prime minister’s doctors so that they can think he is a dick again. 

FOREIGN secretary Dominic Raab is officially in charge of the country, but his powers are limited. What can and can’t he do?

AS acting leader of Britain, I’m in a state of near-constant shock about what I didn’t know about it. Here’s a few things I learned just yesterday.

YEAH. Thanks for electing me leader and everything, but is it okay if I’ve changed my mind? Because if I’m honest I want f**k all to do with this mess.