Politics

ARE you a Guardian reader who wants to show their support for the EU as we leave tomorrow? Here’s how to hold an event that’s embarrassingly middle class.

MOST of the Brexit celebrations planned for Friday will be xenophobic bordering on actually racist, Leave voters have admitted.

CHANCELLOR of the Exchequer Sajid Javid may not know how trade with the EU works, but it doesn’t end there. Here he answers more questions about the world around us.

BORIS Johnson has promised a points-based immigration after Brexit, but Australia’s got that and they’re still mad racist. Here are a few systems Brexiters would prefer.

BIG Ben may not be bonging, but that’s no reason not to celebrate leaving the world’s largest trading bloc on January 31st.

BIG BEN bonging for Brexit is the worst charitable cause since a druggie with a stolen charity tin rattled it around the local, but the cretins who support it live among us.

THE prime minister has appeared on ITV’s breakfast television show for a tough interview with 1980s puppet presenter Roland Rat.

THE NEW Labour leader has to be tough, uncompromising, charismatic and a complete change of direction. Think The Rock. Or any of these.

THE prime minister’s girlfriend has claimed their relationship is just like in Love Actually, apart from his wife and four-to-six children.

A LABOUR MP who felt he should listen patiently to the concerns of an elderly constituent is deeply regretting it.