Politics

YOU dream of amassing power while pretending to serve the nation but are you duplicitous, egotistical and downright odd enough? Find out.

EVERY new parent likes to buy a supposedly authoritative book about raising children. Here are our top parenting tips.

THE government is to continue sensibly and responsibly restoring the UK’s economy post-lockdown by giving every citizen six grams of cocaine.

FANS of the Conservative party are already speculating as to how they will top the last two weekends’ big old f**k-ups next weekend.

LAURA Kuenssberg’s interview with the prime minister’s former SPAD was packed with explosive revelations we already knew. Here’s what he should have been asked:

RETIRED grease trap cleaner Roy Hobbs is obsessed with migrants and regularly goes spotting on the Kent coast. He explains his rewarding hobby.

THE prime minister only requested a face-to-face meeting with the Queen during the pandemic to ensure his vision was okay, he has confirmed.

PISSED off about having to self-isolate whilst I’ve done everything I can to try and weasel out of it? Here’s why double standards are perfectly acceptable.

YOU can’t tie a shoelace these days without accidentally backing the destruction of capitalism. Retired headmistress Margaret Gerving details the other knee-based activities it’s ruined.

ALL Covid restrictions will be lifted next Monday because it is ‘a fun thing to say and it makes me feel good’, Boris Johnson has confirmed.