THE UK has had a lovely four days off celebrating the Jubilee before returning to work for a pleasant day of getting rid of Boris Johnson.
The whole country has arrived back in the workplace in cheerful mood, chatting around watercoolers about the Queen’s Paddington moment, the Party at the Palace line-up and the fact the lying prick could be gone by the end of tonight’s Springwatch.
Nathan Muir of Hitchin said: “What a start to the summer. Nice weather, a long weekend and the prospect of Boris being defenestrated.
“I was just discussing how delicious it was to hear him booed by a crowd of flag-waving Royalists when Marie rushed in with the news that the letters were in. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a happier office on a Monday.
“We’re not counting our chickens here. We know the Tories are stupid and suicidal and there’s every chance he’ll scrape through fatally damaged, but isn’t it so nice to dream?”
Accountant Jo Kramer agreed: “Just when the national mood was starting to sag with nothing more to look forward to, this happens like a Red Arrows flypast in my heart.
“Ah, think of him out on his arse with bunting still on the railings and Union Jack paper plates in the gutter. I can’t imagine a more marvellously British occasion.”
