NICOLA Sturgeon is prepared to take a second swing at resigning if this first attempt does not pan out, she has announced.
In the unlikely event that her countrymen do not allow her to step down, the Scottish first minister has confirmed she will ignore their opinion and plough on with a second resignation regardless.
She said: “Just because I’ve said I’m leaving doesn’t mean it’s a done deal. There’s plenty that could go wrong and scupper my resignation before I’ve buggered off, but rest assured I will try again and again until I get what I want. As usual.
“I was thinking of putting my departure to a public vote but they tend to get referendums wrong so f**k that.
“My decision to leave is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Even if a suitable replacement can’t be found and you try to tempt me to stay with a big sack of cash, I’m off.
“Look, either let me go now or put up with me on Question Time every other week threatening to resign for a second time. Even people who were initially in favour of me going will grow tired of the debate and it won’t get any closer to becoming a reality.
“You don’t want that, do you? Didn’t think so. Laters.”
