TRISTRAM Hunt will not stand in the Labour leadership contest after finding out he was actually a Conservative all along.
The shadow education secretary made the discovery after some basic research on Wikipedia to find out his weaknesses as a candidate.
He said: “I knew I was a Blairite, but when I found out my father is a life peer in the House of Lords and that I went to Westminster School I thought ‘how odd’.
“I then discovered that my cousin is Virginia Bottomley, the former Tory cabinet minister. That is deeply suspicious.
“And, of course, my name is ‘Tristram’.
“Tristram.”
On checking his beliefs, Hunt found that he supported low taxes on wealth creators, cutting benefits for low-income households and tighter immigration controls.
He added: “Also, apparently I’m the MP for Stoke-on-Trent. I don’t know where that is.”
