Facebook reminds man he made 'Brexit? Sounds like a breakfast cereal!' joke three years ago today

FACEBOOK has reminded a despondent man that three years ago, Brexit was such an unfamilar word and concept he tossed off a quick quip about it. 

The social media site told Tom Booker that on this date in 2016 he was amused enough by the word ‘Brexit’ to make a joke he believed funny at the time, though in hindsight it was the beginning of a nightmarish journey into chaotic darkness.

He said: “Three years. Three fucking years. That’s all it’s been.

“We’d never heard of it. I was only vaguely aware that there was a referendum coming up, and I certainly didn’t expect it to have any more impact than that Lib Dem one about how there should be more votes for the Lib Dems.

“I heard this silly new word, which I expected to stick around as long as ‘Yolo’, and made a little joke about it. That’s all. Just an innocent little joke.

“How was I supposed to know? That it would become a word I’d use tens, hundreds of times a day? That it would dominate everything until we begged for mercy?”

He added: “I still think it sounds like a breakfast cereal. But now a poisonous, burning one that you’re forced to eat at gunpoint.”

 

 

Angry greased python easier to dress than toddler

PUTTING clothes on a toddler is more difficult than putting them on a large slippery snake, experts have confirmed.

Researchers found that wrestling a 12ft Burmese python into a Peppa Pig T-shirt, joggers, socks and a pair of velcro-fastening shoes was far easier than doing the same with even the most co-operative two-year-old.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Scientifically toddlers are weaker and clumsier than adult humans, but become a roiling mass of muscle and agility whenever approached article of clothing.

“Especially hats. We found that we could make the python wear a sun hat for 15 seconds and a child for just 8.2, even though snakes haven’t even got ears to stop hats falling off. And it looked cuter.”

Mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “I don’t dress them anymore. There aren’t enough hours in the day.

“They wear what they like. And once you get used to being in Sainsbury’s with one kid in a tablecloth and the other dressed as Chase from Paw Patrol, you’d be surprised at how many others there are.”