IN JUNE 2016, you voted for Britain to leave the European Union. But do you have any idea why you did this or is it lost in the mists of time?
Did you want Britain to be free to trade with countries around the world?
A) No, I don’t think I was bothered about that. Isn’t it already?
B) Yes! That was it. I was sick of being tied into reductive EU trade deals that don’t take into account the massive economic heft of our organic pear juice.
Was it because you were sick of human rights?
A) Okay, I get that it sounds weird now, but possibly. I mean you had to be there.
B) Yes! Murderers serving life were getting PlayStations and all the adult channels, then getting released! I knew I had a good reason.
Did you want the NHS to get an extra £350 million a week?
A) Don’t get me wrong I like the NHS, but that seems excessive. Wouldn’t that make it richer than, like, Google?
B) Yes! And it will!
It wasn’t because you’re racist, was it?
A) Not racist as such. Perhaps slightly more susceptible to racism. It’s genetic.
B) No! It definitely wasn’t that at all, and anyone who says that is the reason Brexit happened is so wrong!
Do you actually want Brexit now?
A) Is it ungrateful if I say no? I don’t want to make a scene.
B) Yes! For all the reasons mentioned above, and any others!
ANSWERS
Mostly As: You have no idea why you voted Brexit and are ashamed to admit you once trusted Nigel Farage. Still, it’s too late now.
Mostly Bs: You have no idea why you voted Brexit and will claim the reason as anything the media says, as long as it means you’re still in the right. Still, it’s too late now.
