THE UK faces a generation of old people with inappropriate tattoos from neck tattoos to entire sleeves, experts have warned. 

The country is thought to have less than three decades before nursing homes are packed with the inked, with carers concerned it will make impossible to find them in any way sweet or possessed of wisdom.

Social scientist Dr Helen Archer said: “You can’t refer to a 75-year-old as a ‘lovely old fella’ when he’s got Slipknot lyrics tattooed on his neck. It isn’t appropriate.

“And while at first we thought they’d be useful to tell pensioners apart and stop families being brought to see the wrong one, it turns out most tattoos are functionally indistinguishable anyway.

“How can a twinkly-eyed grandfather give his grandson a Werther’s Original from an arm with a full sleeve incorporating a clock, a rose, the Help For Heroes logo and a woman’s name inexpertly transformed to thorns? He would look a fool.

“We had the same fears about Generation X, but they do so many drugs so the worst offenders were eliminated by natural selection. Not so millennials. Their bad Taylor Swift likenesses could last a further 40 years.”