Work

EVERY single person in Britain has vowed to quit their horrible boring job and open a lovely local café, it has emerged.

A FREELANCER working from home is forced to share a workspace with his pet cat.

OFFICE workers across the country are struggling to get used to restraining their flatulence again, they have confirmed.

A CONFUSED man who has returned to his office after a fortnight off wants to know why he is in this shithole and who all the twats are. 

AN OFFICE’S tech team appear to be unusually reliant on old-school Post-It notes, colleagues have observed.

A WOMAN who was absolutely leathered after two glasses of wine has asserted that she could not have been drunk because she only had two glasses of wine.

A COMPANY’S human resources department has emailed all employees asking them, while not saying it outright, not to black up.

A WOMAN has decided it is easier to walk out of her job than to buy a Secret Santa present for her boss.

A MARKETING executive wrongly believes his skills will be useful in a variety of situations, including a catastrophe.

A MAN from Wales cannot go a full day without talking about it, colleagues have confirmed.