A MAN mourning the last of the summer bank holidays has not discovered he can make any weekend three days long simply by lying.
Investment broker Ryan Whittaker admitted to friends he had really enjoyed the three day weekend and that it was a shame there would be no more this year, to their bemusement.
He said: “I looked at my calendar and sighed. No more getting happily drunk on a Sunday knowing there was no work tomorrow. ‘We should have one for Halloween,’ I said, then my mate Andy called me a f**king idiot.
“He said, ‘Why do you think I’ve had four Mondays and three Fridays off in eight months? You didn’t think I was genuinely ill, you credulous prick?’ I was dumbfounded.
“Turns out everyone’s having three-day weekends all over the place using this thing called a ‘sickie’, where you call work claiming you’re ill but – get this – you’re not.
“You can use it whenever you fancy a day off, do a couple of days if you’re really not in the mood, and all you have to do is come up with a shameful, disgusting list of symptoms. A small price to pay.
“I reckon this could be even better than bank holidays. You choose when you have it, all the shops are open, it’s amazing. Workplaces should tell everyone about it.”
