Work

Woman unsure if new job role is promotion or f**king insult

A WOMAN given a new role and job title is unsure whether she is being recognised for her outstanding work or treated like a prize twat.

UK airlines' customer service staff take long overdue rest day

THE customer contact teams at all Heathrow-based airlines have been given a surprise Friday off to spend at their leisure.

Decision of whether you're disabled or not to be outsourced to blokes in a pub

TOUGH decisions about who is deserving of disability benefits and who is not are to be outsourced to solid, dependable daytime drinkers.

One in four young people too cool to be, like, a wage slave

A QUARTER of young people are not even bothered about working and are probably going to I dunno, hang out in a forest and shit working on their art, they have claimed.

We're not mentioning salary because we know you're above that, says job advert

EMPLOYERS advertising for new staff have confirmed they do not post salaries because prospective employees are beyond such petty considerations.

Self-employed, independent consultant and other LinkedIn terms for unemployed

NOBODY on LinkedIn can stop congratulating each other long enough to admit they’re drawing dole. Use these phrases to cover up being between ‘great career opportunities’.

Six signs your WhatsApp group will shortly get you fired

AS Labour MP Andrew Gwynne discovered, every WhatsApp group is a ticking time bomb of kompromat. Here’s how yours will lead to your eventual dismissal.

Homeworker recalled to office doing piss-all to prove point

A HOMEWORKER ordered back to the office is spending long lazy days doing nothing to prove her point.

Six low-level bosses who wield their tiny amount of authority over you like fascist dictators

POWERLESS in their real lives, these wankers find their satisfaction in running a workplace like a Panzer Division. Which ones have bollocked you?

Are you becoming a distraction who must resign from your job? Take our quiz

ARE you doing your job perfectly, breaking neither rules nor codes, but should resign anyway because you are becoming a distraction like Tulip Siddiq? Find out.