SWEDEN has dropped depth charges in three squares of the Baltic in an attempt to hit a Russian submarine.
The nation has already scored one hit but is unable to tell if it is on a submarine, a submarine full of little men or a full battle fleet preparing to invade.
General Sverker Goranson said: “It’s very frustrating.
“We know there’s something out there, because we got a boom sound and put a little red peg into our battle machine, but we can’t seem to find it.”
Russian president Vladimir Putin is dropping depth charges of his own, but has been unable to hit anything because the Swedish Navy’s boats are all currently in harbour for orgies.