Society

RAIL operators have defended their decision to once again mess about with the lines at the weekend because it only ruins fun stuff.

WHETHER you’re a hard-working family, lazy and single or deservedly retired, yesterday’s spring statement is f**king you right over. Here’s how it breaks down.

THE 70s and 80s were a golden age for dads. Here are some of your father’s weird, self-indulgent habits which were somehow considered normal back then.

FURIOUS about how ‘ungrateful’ you think Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe is? Send your opinions to these relevant places.

AN idiot has told friends he is not concerned about petrol prices going up as he only ever puts a tenner’s worth in anyway.

DO you sometimes take tiny liberties with the truth to impress women? Do you think any of them are fooled for a single minute?

FEELING belittled? Put down? Then you’ve just finished an interaction with one of these types who believe themselves very much your superior.

HARK! Is that the sound of a knobhead in a modded-up Golf? How courteous to noisily warn us of his impending presence. Listen for these sounds.

AFTER revelations about offensive texts and going in mob-handed to protect oligarchs’ mansions, the police’s reputation has taken a hit. Here gammon Roy Hobbs explains why he still has total faith in the ‘thin blue line’.

YES, it’s the most ersatz celebration of the year as non-Irish people honour St Patrick by puking in the street. Here’s how to make it actually quite offensive.