Society

CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling has admitted the economic downturn was completely unnecessary as all this time he could just have printed more tenners.

BRITAIN'S piece of shit of west coast railway line has been designated as the country's latest national metaphor.

ONE in 10 young unemployed British adults is so dissatisfied with life that they are just begging to be kicked in the teeth, new research suggests.

JACK Logan, the child who made his own bed every day for a week, has been knighted in the New Year's honours list.

GORDON Brown sat on the railing of the old iron bridge that takes people in and out of the small town of Bedford Falls and stared at the freezing water.

GOVERNMENT guidelines on Christmas safety in the home are every bit as obvious as they need to be, it has been confirmed.

THE good Samaritan who has offered to pay for your physiotherapy is the same man who mugged you in the first place, it was claimed last night.

NO-ONE should be blamed for an insensitive film poster displayed at Stockwell Underground station, watchdogs said last night.

EVERYTHING you have ever been told is a colossal lie and the global economy is a $100 trillion fraud, it was confirmed last night.

LONG-term unemployed people attacked the government last night, saying it obviously has no idea what makes them tick.