Society

FINDING a parking space is the most challenging aspect of the average working week, according to a new survey.

DRUG abusers are to be renamed 'heroin buffs' in recognition of their in-depth knowledge and appreciation of the world's finest narcotics.

BRITAIN is using state-of-the-art audio visual technology to make itself even more moronic, it was claimed last night.

GAY couples who receive a child from a Catholic adoption agency have vowed to dress it in a studded collar and a little leather cap.

MIDDLE class families face no longer being able to use child benefit to buy wine, it emerged last night.

A CHILDREN'S helpline has been bombarded with calls from youngsters claiming their parents are excluding them from impromptu afternoon cocktail sessions.

TOURISM chiefs have unveiled a new guide reminding Britons not to just punch people who are here on their holidays.

THE Association of Chief Police Officers has been criticised for a radio advert which encouraged neighbours to report single, permanently hungover young men who live knee-deep in their own filth.

COUNCILS will be paid for every newly-built box they cram into your town and then fill with thousands of 'people' who are all exactly the same as each other.

EXPENSIVE, lengthy stag trips are usually organised by some total prick who won't leave you alone for five minutes, according to new research.