Society

FATHER Christmas is dead because of massive skull damage inflicted by hooves, according to a new television commercial aimed at children.

A REPORT into obesity has been condemned as 'incredibly rude' after calling British women fat.

THE psychological cost of being forced to verbally interact with striking council workers far outweighs any financial loss, experts have claimed.

BOSSES' increasing reliance on irate emails or 'e-bollockings' is leaving them incapable of delivering face-to-face put-downs, it has been claimed.

THE Advertising Standards Authority has decided it is your mother.

LORD Leveson is guilty of the worst kind of gutter judicial inquiry, it was claimed last night.

MORE people are visiting churches to steal metal than to worship, it has emerged.

THE government is to boost the housing market because there really isn't anything else to do, it has been confirmed.

YOUR ageing parents are planning to get themselves a 'computer with the internet', in a move that will ruin your life.

BRITAIN could soon be torn apart by toast sandwich envy, it has been claimed.