Society

QUESTIONS were being asked across Europe last night if enough is being done to stem the rising tide of total insanity.

BRITAIN'S disgust with tabloid journalism was suspended yesterday in honour of Amy Winehouse.

THE Guardian last night told David Cameron that they really thought he would have resigned by now.

BRITAIN last night backed Rebekah Brooks and agreed that this is all the fault of George Osborne.

THE Daily Mail has only ever hacked into the voices inside Paul Dacre's head, the paper's editor confirmed yesterday.

BRITAIN spent last night staring at the ceiling with its duvet clutched tightly under its chin.

FORMER Metropoltan Police commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson 'had no idea' Champneys was a luxury health spa when he agreed to go there for a three week-long freebie.

PEOPLE who like barbecues are freaks, it has emerged.

HARDENED criminals in several UK prisons have begun rioting at the prospect of sharing a cell with a Murdoch.

THERE is a one-in-three chance that your infant is foreign, it has been claimed.