Society

Britain's right to incompetence under threat

THE UK economy could collapse by the end of the day, after a man resigned for making a mistake.

TV adverts mislead public into believing Christmas is good

SEASONAL television adverts create a false impression that Christmas is enjoyable, it has been claimed.

Team researching Scottish redheads not expected to survive

RESEARCHERS studying the habits of ginger-haired Scots have admitted it is a suicide mission.

Britain remembers failed early astronaut Guy Fawkes

MILLIONS of Britons are prepared to mark the passing of would-be space traveller Guy Fawkes, who strapped himself to a rocket in 1605.

Porridge confirms that everything is now grim

THE arrival of porridge has signalled that everything in the UK will be dreadful for months.

Trick-or-treaters seem to think this is America

THOUSANDS of costumed children and their parents are under the mistaken impression that England is America, it has emerged.

Going to work far more terrifying than ghosts and monsters

WORKING in an office will be the most fear-inducing thing about this Halloween, according to millions of Britons.