Society

DISFIGURED crack dealer Stephen Malley has been elected police commissioner for Gloucestershire.

ANY child that touches Pudsey bear will get a massive electric shock, it has emerged.

THE middle class would collapse into self-loathing without frozen food store Iceland to look down on, it has been claimed.

RAIL bosses have used ancient depictions of Hell as inspiration for a new tier of train service.

UNMANNED drones have described being made to feel 'different' and 'inferior' by army comrades.

THE top career for job satisfaction is being a dragonrider in the fantasy world of Nazgar, according to a survey.

CHANGES in human evolution mean that only idiots will continue to thrive, it has been claimed.

CHILD abuse survivors have urged the public to not to forget BBC licence fee payers.

THREE Christmas ghosts visited gas executive Tom Logan to show him the error of his ways, but he didn't give a shit.