Society

FALLING drug use is a serious threat to the economy, ministers have warned.

A GLUT of kooky female sitcom characters is putting women under pressure to be pixie-like, it has been claimed.

ANY programme, book, film or remark about drugs makes them seem glamorous, it has emerged.

A TEARFUL Kelvin McKenzie yesterday asked South Yorkshire Police why they had to make him exist.

BISHOPS wearing futuristic body suits are locked in deadly combat beneath Gloucester cathedral.

DAVID Cameron is offering a 'lovely turnip' to every non-land owning home to counter accusations of Tory elitism.

YOUNG people with time on their hands can become domestic pets under a government pilot scheme.

GEORGE Osborne has produced his own glossy booklet of money-saving tips for benefits claimants.

THE seemingly endless Kate Middleton topless saga is making men bored with breasts, it has emerged.

A MAN who understands everything has been discovered thanks to his repeated posts on the online comment sections of national newspapers.