UKIP members may write to newspaper

THERE is a growing possibility that UKIP members may write to the newspapers about all this.

The letters are expected to call for common sense while saying that enough is enough and it is time to get a grip.

The third paragraph will stress that Britain has been going downhill since the 1950s when there were, literally, policemen everywhere.

The fourth paragraph will list, in detail, the undeniable similarities between the European Union and the Third Reich.

In the fifth paragraph the letter writer will say they would not be surprised if they are persecuted by the liberal establishment, but that they would welcome it if it finally gets Britain to sit up and take notice.

The sixth paragraph will list, in detail, the undeniable similarities between the European Union and gay adoption.

And the seventh paragraph will stress that Britain has been going downhill since the 1950s when there were, literally, hedgerows everywhere.

The letters will also confirm, once and for all, that there is nothing racist about distrusting people because they are foreign.

 

 

£150 tax break encourages tight bastards to marry


A YEARLY £150 married persons’ tax incentive will encourage tight-fisted sods to wed, it has been claimed.

Relationship counsellor Donna Sheridan said: “My concern is that wanting £150 may not be a sound basis for a committed, lifelong relationship.

“If you’re stingey enough to get married for a relatively small sum of money, you’ll probably end up getting divorced anyway, thanks to constantly nagging your spouse to reuse teabags.”

Receptionist Nikki Hollis said: “I’ll never forget what my boyfriend Dave said when he proposed – ‘Nikki, I think you’re amazing and if you marry me there’s 75 quid in it for you.’”