Society
Words 'Royal' and 'baby' only acceptable in potato context
BRITONS have been told to stop using the words 'Royal' and 'baby', to avoid destroying them by overuse.
Woman not joking about star signs
OFFICE worker Donna Sheridan was not joking when she discussed the royal baby’s star sign, according to her colleagues.
Britons urged to enjoy last few hours before explosion of baby bullshit
BRITONS have been advised to enjoy life in the final hours before a million-megaton blast of bullshit is unleashed.
Dacre to 'opt' for adult content so he can 'check how disgusting it is'
DAILY Mail editor Paul Dacre will 'opt-in' to web porn so that he can remain up to speed with Britain's moral decay.
Men who 'care about their appearance' more likely to be twats
MEN who work out and buy facial products are more likely to be twats, it has emerged.
Royal baby 98th on list of things Britons are looking forward to
THE royal baby is ranked just below 'a packet of beef crisps' on a list of things people are anticipating.
Everyone to live at work by 2028
THE government has revealed new measures to help you spend all your time doing work.
