Society

SITTING on your arse in the garden delivers no more health benefits than sitting on your arse in the house, it has emerged.

ANDY Murray's tennis victory has put ordinary Britons under pressure to be less shit, experts have warned.

MILLIONS of Britons are considering giving khat a go after hearing about it for the first time this week.

BRITISH people cannot feel emotion unless they are looking at a small spherical object, it has emerged.

THE public are idiots, people who serve them have observed.

BRITAIN remains the global leader in swearing, it has been claimed.

RETRO baby names from the early 20th century have been exhausted, creating a trend for prehistoric-sounding options like Ung-Gaah.

VERY hot water with a bag floating in it is not a cup of tea, it has emerged.

A MASSIVE factory fire was caused by one of those monstrously fucking stupid Chinese lanterns, it has been confirmed.