Society

THE problem of truancy has been solved by making it into a qualification.

ORDINARY people trying to fight each other don’t look cool like in films, it has been confirmed.

A MARKETING manager is staying in the office until 7pm every night to imagine the illicit thrill of having an affair. 

A MAN has found himself unemployed after copying a character from an aftershave advert.

AN appalling man is gearing himself up for an argument over having to pay five pence for a plastic bag.

A COUPLE have decided to add some variety to their relationship by getting drunk in front of the television on cocktails.

THE story that went round last week about David Cameron has completely disappeared from the public mind, it has emerged.

THE child of a smoker is thrilled with his sturdy new walking boots and 'military-style' compass.

A NORTHERN man has left a trail of terror across London by attempting to interact socially with everyone he meets.

FREE plastic bags have issued a message of solidarity and respect before going home to deep space.