Society

BAKED potatoes are worried that their glory days are over, it has emerged.

A POPULAR new bedtime book called Mr Daggerteeth is about a monster that eats children who make any sort of noise or movement during the night.

AN affluent degree student is nervously excited about moving from the parental home to a deluxe apartment with every possible amenity.

A FOX with rabies has been described as ‘plucky’ after running through the Eurotunnel while the authorities were focused on migrants.

BELLRINGERS have been asked why in Christ they are making all that noise on a Sunday morning when everyone needs to sleep.

THE BEST way to take a decade off your age is to have a dead-end job and live in a dilapidated shared house, according to scientists.

A MAN awaiting news about a job was unsure whether to answer a phone call because he was on the lavatory.

BRITAIN'S public houses will be functionally unbearable by 2030, it has been revealed.

LONDON Underground could eventually run an uninterrupted service for up to 18 hours a day, it has been claimed.

THE parents of students who achieved their A Level goals are pretending to be happy about the situation.