Society

A TEENAGER has taken the summer job which he will retire from in 2063.

AN AUTHENTICALLY working class area of London will be allowed to continue existing as a tourist attraction.

WEDDING guests have drawn a blank on why one of their number is wearing a kilt.

WORKERS are demanding postponement of the next tube strike so that they can think up fresh chit chat on the subject.

A 28-YEAR-OLD woman routinely takes an extravagant amount of tobacco when friends offer her a roll up.

A TOTAL bastard had kind and decent ancestors, genealogists have discovered.

OWNING a large muscular dog does not make you a well-respected community figure, it has been confirmed.

MANLY but sensitive tree surgeons are making too many women fall in love with them, it has been claimed.

RETAIL worker Stephen Malley has no desire to do a job other than the one he is already doing.

LONDONERS complaining that the Tube strike is frustrating have been reminded that is the point.