Society

A FRIEND’S friend has revealed himself to be an unmitigated arsehole.

NORMAL people will be able to commandeer the lifestyle of a local hipster, it has been confirmed.

A MAN in an uncharacteristically buoyant mood is unable to tell his colleagues it is due to having scored two grams of cocaine for the weekend.

A MAN who has been waiting for his Argos purchase for more than 15 minutes is being arbitrarily detained in violation of his human rights, the UN has ruled.

INFLATION remains stable as long as you ignore all the things that have gone up enormously, experts have confirmed.

FACEBOOK’S celebration of friendship has led to a surge in bitter hatred.

AN open mic night in a pub has been ruined by every single person who performed at it.

THE happiest places in the UK are on the verge of not being in it, it has emerged.

MOTHERS on Facebook have been sharing pictures of the porky little things that came out of their fannies.

A FIVE-YEAR-OLD has explained how he wants to be a policeman who sits in a large office coming up with initiatives like ‘crime reduction partnerships’.