Society

A CHILD raised on a carefully-curated diet of educational books, Radio 4 and hand-painted wooden toys is still an idiot, his parents have admitted.

AS children play on Nintendo Switches as if it is nothing, their parents seethe with resentment as they remember crap toys like these.

AWARENESS of social injustice is a good thing, but are you trying to prove you’re more 'woke' than everyone else? You could be overdoing it.

A GRANDAD hopes that with his help and guidance, his grandkids can end up as stupid and ill-informed as he is.

WHEN even a Swedish teenager in a fleece drives you into a frothing rage, you know you’re easily triggered. But what else do gammons hate?

A 17-YEAR-OLD A-level student cannot decide which university he wants to be locked up in to be infected with Covid next year.

ONE great privilege of living in an overcrowded, overpriced city is hearing visitors' stunningly original observations about it. Here are five remarks Londoners just love.

ARE you struggling to understand what puce-faced patriots are jabbering on about? Clear up the confusion with these translations of popular gammon phrases.

WITH a Covid clampdown in the North likely, Yorkshire resident Martin Bishop explains what will happen with a large dose of sentimentality and a chip on his shoulder.

HAVE you managed to achieve emotional contentment or are you merely a cretin? Take our quiz and find out.