A WOMAN seems like an alcoholic after relating a mildly debauched anecdote to colleagues, she has realised.
Office worker Donna Sheridan described getting so drunk at a wedding she slept in the disabled toilet, forgetting she was in the company of incredibly sensible po-faced bastards.
Sheridan said: “I noticed their faces were quite blank as I described feeling so rough the next day I puked in a vase outside the hotel.
“I assumed they’d find it amusing, but Emma just stared at me as if I’d admitted to spending every night smoking crack in a burned-out car.
“Kate looked really serious and said ‘Were you alright?’ like I’d been rushed to hospital and put on life support. Then Gavin said, ‘We’d better not go to the pub with a hardened drinker like you, Donna!’.
“They were looking at me as if I was Lemmy from Motorhead.”
Co-worker Emma Bradford said: “Donna clearly has a problem. I’ve decided to start secretly sniffing her breath at work and take her car keys off her if she’s drunk.
“If she starts doing alcoholic things like going to sleazy bars alone we’re going to stage an intervention and make her go to one of those churches with a trendy vicar.”