Porn 'age gates' appeal to teenage boys' innate sense of honour

AGE restrictions on pornography websites work because teenage boys are never deceitful, it has been claimed.

Regulators have called for adult websites to have a box on their home page where users enter their date of birth. Teenage boys have confirmed that this works because they live by an honour code similar to the knights of Camelot.

14-year-old Wayne Hayes said: “However strong the urge to look at images of sex and tits, I am always thwarted by the request for age confirmation.

“My integrity is much more important to me than seeing sexy older women actually doing it.

“Once I considered selecting an earlier birth year from the drop-down menu, but the sense of shame was so intense I could not click the mouse.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go and do some helpful tasks in my local community.”

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Mothers warned not to get used to this

MUMS have been reminded that things will be straight back to normal after Sunday.

Children and husbands expressed concern that mothers might get big ideas after receiving a mid-priced box of chocolates and a card with the price sticker still on it.

13-year-old Stephen Malley said: “This Thornton’s selection box cost nine quid, split between me, my sister and my dad. Now that’s a pretty high-end gift. But the problem is that mum could start getting all above herself, thinking she’s a film star then not tidying all my shit up.

“You see it happen to people who win The X Factor, the limelight goes to their head and they forget where they came from.”

31-year-old Nikki Hollis said: “I rely on my mum for free dogsitting and laundry services so I can’t have her getting big-headed.

“We’re taking her to Pizza Express but first thing on Monday I’m ringing her up, saying ‘It’s over now’ in a serious voice, then putting the phone down.”

Mother Mary Fisher said: “I already knew I was getting a Sam Ryder CD because it’s been sitting on the kitchen table unwrapped for a week. I have never expressed any interest in Sam Ryder.”

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