YOUR old dad doesn’t want anything for Christmas, according to a new survey.
97% of men in the 50-80 age bracket have said they don’t want anyone to buy them anything, and in fact seemed quite annoyed about being asked.
64-year-old Stephen Malley said: “I’ve got everything I want.
“I don’t mean that in a schmaltzy ‘I’m already the richest man in the world’ kind of way. I just want you to leave me alone.”
THE new album from boy band One Direction is all about smack.
1D member Harry Styles said: “The new album is called Take Me Home. It’s actually written from the perspective of a bag of heroin.
“There’s a track Heart Attack that’s about OD’ing, and Over Again is about the nagging compulsion to take more smack.”
Marketing executive Julian Cook said: “It’s a shrewd commercial move – the junkie market is global and it’s ever-growing. Loads of smackheads were into Take That.”
