Middle class people launch feeble retaliatory piss-take

Join Mash Premium today

Unlimited ad-free access, exclusive

stories and a free Mash book for

Annual and Lifetime

$5 / Month Less than a pint in a Middlesbrough Wetherspoons
  • Most flexible option
  • Cancel any time
$50 / Year Better value and makes you superior
  • Save 17% per year
$300 Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off
  • Pay once and that's it

Already a member? Sign in

American teenager arrested for interest in science

A TEXAN boy has been arrested for doing science.

Ahmed Mohamed, 14, was apprehended after he produced a small, time-telling ‘clock’ device, startling his teachers who had never seen anything like it.

Police chief Bill McKay added: “There’s plenty of good reasons why science was outlawed here in 2004.

“When people get interested in time it only leads one way – time machines.

“We’ve all seen Back to the Future, yes it’s a lighthearted film but it carries a serious and powerful message about the chaos that time travel can cause.

“Like Marty McFly getting biblical feelings for the young version of his mom, who looks pretty hot in her prom dress.

“That’s what happens when you meddle with time, or indeed anything. The message is ‘don’t meddle’.”

Mohamed is likely to be sent to a young offenders’ institute until his thirst for knowledge is reduced to a level in keeping with American values.