THE war memorial sex woman and her verminous consort are in danger of making sane people think like Daily Mail columnists, it emerged last night.
Wendy Lewis and her Nazi-saluting boyfriend Frank McKenzie have left Zadie Smith-reading Amnesty International members spewing bucket upon bucket of pungent, hate-filled verbal pus.
Tom Logan, an English teacher from Finsbury Park, said: “Before this happened I was opposed to capital punishment for anything. Now there’s like 18 things on my list. Nope, sorry – 19 – I forgot ‘looking a bit shifty’.”
He added: “Last night I dreamed I was drinking in an idyllic country pub with Richard Littlejohn. We talked at length, agreeing enthusiastically about child molesters, prostitutes and wheelie bins. And then we smashed the windows of a nearby arts centre where some perfectly nice lesbians were doing a play called ‘Africa’s Ovaries’ at my expense.
“I feel more conflicted than Anakin Skywalker.”
Librarian Emma Bradford, who owns Dido CDs and recycles jumper fluff, said: “I do wish I could stop myself thinking that she should have her mouth filled with baby rats and he should have his penis put through a mangle.
“Surely there are socio-cultural reasons why someone urinates and performs an unnervingly ambiguous-sounding ‘sex act’ on a war memorial, before telling some old men who fought against Hitler to fuck off.
“My husband thinks there is, but I’m starting to think he’s a mealy-mouthed, turtleneck-wearing gayboy.”
She added: “I’ve just had my hair done a bit like Jan Moir’s.
“And I like it.”