A FATHER has sat his teenage son down for a talk about how to ensure your internet history is not visible.

Tom Booker, aged 45, felt it was time son Zachary learned the basics of internet security for protection ‘because your mum will be in your phone the moment she finds it unlocked, trust me’.

He continued: “You’re 14 now, and you’re going to get certain urges. Urges to do with the internet. Why do you think our broadband’s got no parental controls?

“But there’s lots of very unpleasant stuff out there, I tell you from bitter experience, stuff you don’t want anyone knowing you’ve seen. Stuff you barely want to know you’ve seen yourself.

“So that’s why you enter through this magical window of forgetfulness called ‘incognito mode’. It doesn’t remember and it doesn’t judge, Zack. It leaves no trace and no crime.

“Let it hold your hand through the internet’s darkness. It’ll be a friend to you as it has been to me all these years, since your uncle Scott told me about it after I’d been on his PC in 1997. Alright, son. Glad we had this chat.”

Zack Booker said: “I knew about it already from kids at school. So that was basically a talk about how dad wanks.”