THE Post Office has asked you to forget about how it destroyed hundreds of people’s lives and focus on a fun new set of Spice Girls stamps instead.
The release of the commemorative set of Spice Girls stamps has been specially timed to distract from how the Post Office wrongly accused sub-postmasters and postmistresses of theft due to its dodgy computer system.
A Post Office spokesperson said: “You’re not still whingeing about that, are you? Look, here’s Geri, and she’s wearing her iconic Union Flag dress. You love that. She’s got tits.
“Why not pop in and pick up a set that will cost way more than you’d expect? Our friendly staff will ring it through the tills that no longer bankrupt them or destroy their families. We’ve learnt our lesson so let’s drop it and move on.
“There’s also no need to watch that drama about how we screwed over innocent people and our old CEO Paula Vennells got away with it. It’s on ITV anyway so it’s probably shit, don’t waste your time.
“Just gaze at that little picture of the Spice Girls performing at the London 2012 Olympic ceremony and feel the burning anger you have towards us leave your body. That feels better, doesn’t it?”
Member of Gen Z Ryan Whittaker said: “What’s a stamp? What the f**k is a Spice Girl?”