A COUPLE enjoying a romantic stroll around the shops are taking up the entire fucking pavement, other pedestrians have confirmed.
Emma Bradshaw and Tom Booker are dawdling around feeling like they are in a Richard Curtis film, apparently oblivious to the murderous rage of the people walking behind them.
Pedestrian Carolyn Ryan said: “If these two fuckers don’t start walking a bit quicker I’m going to trample all over the back of their espadrille-wearing heels.
“Whilst they might have the time to drift around cluttering up the pavement and gazing mistily into the windows of estate agents, some of us just want to get to Tesco as quickly as possible to buy a pint of milk and some Toilet Duck.
“There isn’t the time to dick about showing off about how in love you are. Some of us need to storm around glaring at people who get in your way, so we can get back home and sit on the sofa for nine hours.”
Bradshaw said: “I don’t even love him. I just love being annoying.”
