Science & Technology

A MAN has discovered his wife’s vibrator, turned it on to see what it does and is now frantically trying to turn it off.

A WOMAN who constantly feeds her phone personal information is convinced it is eavesdropping on her conversations.

IS your immediate response to important events to send out a picture with an unfunny caption? Here Martin Bishop explains how he’s changing the world one meme at a time.

PHYSICAL objects are such aggravating bastards that sometimes you just want to punch them into little pieces. Here are six frequent offenders.

A MAN who has spent 30 minutes explaining to his date what non-fungible tokens are is somehow under the impression that the evening is going well.

BACK in the day you played with Lego, ate leftover turkey and watched Where Eagles Dare. But Christmas has changed irrevocably, and here’s what you do now.

FACEBOOK can be irritating at the best of times, but Christmas seems to bring out the worst in people who are already dicks.

A MAN has outsourced the purchase of a thoughtful gift for his wife to a budget-priced artificial intelligence they keep in the lounge.

DO you find the young people confusing and odd? Don’t worry – 48-year-old father-of-three Martin Bishop can answer your questions and make you trendy again.

A FATHER who believes himself computer-savvy keeps a list of his passwords on a post-it note stuck to his monitor.