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Father prints out and posts meme

A FATHER has printed out a meme and distributed it by post because he thinks that is how they work.

Having discovered what he calls a ‘me-me’ on his desktop computer, 56-year-old Roy Hobbs printed off the amusing image and sent it to his son via Royal Mail 2nd Class.

Son James, aged 26, said: “Imagine my confusion when I received an envelope containing an picture of a blond woman shouting and pointing at a smug white cat, with a caption about Keir Stamer and Jeremy Corbyn. I thought I’d accidentally signed up to the UKIP mailing list.

“It was only when I turned it over and saw ‘Roy’ scrawled on the back that I realised it was from dad. He’s always been behind the times, as this meme from 2019 shows, but this is old-fashioned even by his standards.

“I thought we’d turned a corner when I told him he didn’t need to print off his emails to read them, but clearly I should have specified that meant images too. God help me if he learns how to access TikTok, he’ll be recording challenges onto VHS.”

Father Roy Hobbs added: “I’ve found some memes about Vince Cable I’m sure my son will enjoy. He should really chip in for my dial-up though.”

Spiders ranked from 'flesh-crawling' to 'run out of the house screaming'

SPIDERS come in varying degrees of terrifying. Here they are ranked from worst to most horrific:

Almost tolerable

This borderline category includes small ones found on webs in out-of-the-way places and the spindly-legged type you find in the downstairs loo. Not particularly big or threatening but they still have eight limbs and scuttle across the ceiling just waiting to fall onto your face, so you’d prefer it if they didn’t exist.

Irritating but not scary

Think of the crazed, lurching daddy long-legs which apparently isn’t even a spider at all. Except of course it is because bloody look at it. And who cares what obscure sub-species it belongs to when it haphazardly flies towards your face? Clobber it with your shoe before it kills you.

Toe-curling

Stripy garden spiders that calmly spin massive webs from the front door to the car every morning are the rulers of this tier. They’re obviously planning to trap you in their sticky threads as you pop to the shops for some bread, then to eat you alive as a late night snack. Their only error is one of scale.

Flesh-crawling

Picture the scene. That mummy spider in the corner has spawned hundreds of baby spiders who are currently gathered around her in a little fluffy cloud. Soon they’ll mature, disperse, and cover every inch of your house like in Arachnaphobia. Burn your home down now to avoid living in a disappointing 90s American horror/comedy with a strong John Goodman cameo.

Shudder-inducing

This includes anything sturdy. If it looks like it played rugby at school, it needs to f**k off. Shame it’s physically stronger than you though and refuses to be cowed as you pathetically try to shoo it away with a rolled-up newspaper.

Run out of the house screaming

These big buggers are a double threat. Not only are they so huge you can’t trap them under a pint glass, they’ve also mastered the element of surprise. You’ll be innocently watching The Repair Shop, then before you know it they’ll be stomping across the living room carpet causing you to flee in terror. Go back to your parents’ and put the house on the market.

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