Relationships

'Those fishcakes need eating tonight': 15 romantic texts from your long-term partner

IT’S easy for the spark to go out of a relationship when you’re sick of the sight of them. But don’t despair - here are 15 texts from your partner that prove romance is alive and well.

Seven ways of impressing teenage girls that are dead easy now it's too late

MALE teenagers are desperate to impress girls, which is tricky without money or your independence. But now you could easily wow them with these everyday middle-aged skills. WARNING: Don’t.

Six alternative, face-saving reasons you've been dumped

OFFICIALLY you were dumped because you're a selfish knobhead. Comfort yourself with six more palatable and delusional reasons your ex had to let you go.

Six sexual experiences you'd rather not be told about

FRIENDS, colleagues and strangers have the odd urge to tell you about grim incidents in their sex lives. Here are some you wish they wouldn’t corner you with in the office kitchen.

Woman on date excited for moment when she gets to speak

A WOMAN on a first date is eagerly awaiting the approaching moment when she will briefly be allowed to speak.

Ex-boyfriend has nerve to find happiness with someone else

A WOMAN is furious that her ex-boyfriend, who she has not spoken to since 2019, has had the audacity to find love with another woman.

Everyone polyamorous now except for you

Everyone in the world is now polyamorous except for you, it has been confirmed.

Six sex aids for the middle-aged

JUST because your body is failing it doesn’t mean you aren’t still a highly sexual being. But you might find these erotic aids necessary.

Historical re-enactment battles best place to meet single men

SINGLE women looking for a partner have been advised to start going to places where there are actually likely to be unmarried men.

During a panic attack, and other helpful times your mum tells you to 'pull yourself together'

FEELING anxious or legitimately worried? Don’t worry, your mum has got some no-nonsense advice that won’t help in the least. Here’s how to stop being pathetic.