DO you find it hard to know what to say during sex? Here are some phrases to make you cringe with embarrassment as soon as you’ve said them.
‘I’ll do whatever you want me to’
This bold, sexy promise is best saved for a long-term partner who knows you well and won’t overestimate your capabilities/gag reflex/ability to relax your sphincters on demand. This familiarity is important – the last thing you want is a new lover thinking you actually mean it.
‘I’ve been looking forward to this all day’
Who cares if what you’ve actually been looking forward to is some microwaveable dim sum and a new episode of The Bear? Lies you tell for the purposes of sex are entirely permissible, otherwise how would any man be confident his dick is big enough?
‘This is so hot’
This one works particularly well if a new sex act you’ve pretended you were up for turns out not to be hot at all, certainly for you. The encouragement may hurry your partner along and the ludicrously embarrassing sexual position or whatever can quietly be forgotten about next time.
‘I could do this all night’
Only attempt this one if you’re a good enough actor to pull it off, particularly if you’re engaged in a never-ending oral sex session. If a male partner says it to you after he’s already spent half an hour searching in vain for your G-spot, resist the urge for a brilliantly sarky comeback: ‘Yeah, and you still wouldn’t find it.’
‘You love it’
The key with this kind of leap of faith is to stick to statements not questions. If everything is tickety-boo as far as you can tell, why invite doubt? If you ask a woman ‘Am I making you cum?’ or ’Is my cock hard enough for you?’ you’re only encouraging her to think objectively about those questions, and the truth can hurt.
