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Conversation spoiled by boyfriend talking

A PLEASANT chat a woman was enjoying with her boyfriend has been ruined by his insistence on joining in. 

Lucy Parry was relaxing at home with Jack Browne and regaling him about an incident which happened at the office, regarding biscuits.

She said: “I explained the background for context, so he knew my position re buying the biscuits a few days before and I’d only eaten one per day and because they were individually wrapped they’d stay fresh which was good because I wasn’t getting more.

“Then out of nowhere he butts in saying ‘Anyway, talking of work’ then goes off on a tangent about himself. It was so rude. I interjected and asked how he’d like it if I cut him off in the middle of a conversation? He apologised, but then he just carried on.

“It wasn’t even interesting, something about a new role at work and a car or whatever. Well done Jack, but at what cost? A conversation and a relaxing evening ruined? Was it worth it?

“Listening is an important aspect of relationship communication. What kind of couple are we going to be if he can’t engage in a basic conversation by listening to what I have to say, and then be approving and supportive of my opinions? I leave gaps.

“Will he interrupt my wedding vows to blather on about himself? Anyway, I waited until he’d finished, gave him a look and carried on.”

Jack said: “Lucy’s really pleased with my promotion and 40 per cent pay rise. She’s going to buy me biscuits.”

Would it help if we told you to stick your pathetic 2p National Insurance cut up your f**king arse? public asks Hunt

BRITAIN has suggested to a wavering Jeremy Hunt that he could always save £9 billion by sticking his insulting tax cut up his own fundament. 

The chancellor, who never wanted this job and is not good at it, is struggling to find £9 billion to fund a promised pre-election tax cut which will not change a single vote.

Tom Logan of Chester said: “Here’s a thought, Jeremy: how about f**king off with your bullshit 2p off National Insurance and sodomising yourself with it, in a small room?

“We know the deal by now. You hand out a shit cut like you’re Father cocking Christmas and the next day every swimming pool in the country closes because of a mysterious lack of funds. And half the hospitals. And police go subscriber-only.

“What is it this time, 2p off National Insurance and upping the pension age? 2p off and selling our motorways to a hedge fund? 2p off but also, somewhere you don’t think we’re looking, 5p on?

“Or could you not bother with your pathetically transparent bribe, admit that 14 years of Tory rule in which you were intimately involved has f**ked the country, set a sensible budget and piss off early? How does that sound?”

Hunt said: “Wow, Britain, just imagine. A whole 2p.”

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