DIVERSITY and equality in the media are good things. However these people have too much representation and need to be marginalised immediately.
Olivia Colman
The first time you saw what’s-her-face who played Sophie from Peep Show star in something else you were happy for her. But over time that excitement has soured into weary regret because now she pops up in f**king everything and ruins your suspension of disbelief. Why? Because she’s a hilarious, talented performer everyone loves? Ridiculous.
The Go Compare guy
The deafening Welsh opera singer’s representation is just 30-second adverts, but that’s still far too much. In the spirit of fairness he should be confined to one performance a year on an obscure channel no one watches, like the fishing one. The same goes for those f**king meerkats, who stopped being entertaining ten minutes after their first appearance.
Question Time audiences
The hollering gibbons who make up the Question Time audience have had their say for decades, and what have they achieved in that time? Nothing, except maybe Brexit. They should be sacked for incompetence and replaced by kittens, because they’re more fun to watch and better-informed about current affairs.
Oxbridge graduates
Clever clogs from these hallowed institutions of learning are f**king everywhere in the media, limiting the range of views represented and discriminating against thick people. The cleverdicks must have used their massive brains to deduce that the media is a cushy number with more free drinks than dusty old academia.
Piers Morgan
‘Phew,’ you thought, after Morgan stormed off the set of Good Morning Britain, ‘that’s the last I’ve seen of that ill-informed King of the Gammons dickhead who’s still got blue balls for Meghan.’ Sadly not. He’s got his own show now and his newspaper column, when what he should have is a restraining order from TV studios, publishing companies and the internet.