A MAN is living in fear of fictional black families in adverts who are abnormally happy about their supermarket purchases.
Stephen Malley says his life is being ruined by black actors pretending shopping at a supermarket is a life-affirming family experience, although the exact harm they are causing him is unclear.
Malley said: “This week I saw a black family in a Tesco advert, another in Waitrose, and one in Sainsbury’s. If you ask me there’s too many of them coming here and appearing in our supermarket ads.
“It’s practically illegal these days to be a white family played by actors whose mundane purchases of cheese, Toilet Duck and flavourless battery-farmed chicken somehow bring them closer together and help them make up after arguments.
“Indigenous white people enjoy buying cooking oil, multipacks of baked beans and frozen ready meals too. Actually they don’t. I hate doing the big shop. It’s a pain in the arse.”
Despite claiming he was “just saying what a lot of people are thinking”, Bishop was unable to give a specific example of how black advert families had a detrimental effect on his life, except that they “might buy all the Cornettos”.
A Sainsbury’s spokesperson said: “We at Sainsbury’s want to show our commitment to diversity and ending racial divisions, and we’re doing that by encouraging more people to buy Hellmann’s in a squeezy bottle.
“Modern society is a melting pot, speaking of which Pot Noodles are on offer right now, so why not pop some in your trolley for a quick and tasty no-fuss snack? It’s what Martin Luther King would have wanted.”
