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Looks like our ride on this crazy bigoted right-wing rollercoaster is coming to an end. By Fox and Wootton

I’M Laurence Fox, he’s Dan Wootton, and our suspension from GB News surely means we’ve come to the end of our ride on the right-wing rollercoaster of hate.

LAURENCE: It’s been a hell of a ride for both of us. I like to feel that, each in our own way, we’ve poisoned the well of national debate over the last decade just by being arseholes.

DAN: Well, some of us have been in the trenches a lot longer than others, Laurence. You only came out as a slicked-back twat in a biker jacket on Question Time just before the pandemic. I did my apprenticeship in pure evil with the News of the World.

LAURENCE: I was in Lewis. But has there ever been a time until now, with you facing those allegations, when you’ve regretted giving in to your worst instincts at all times?

DAN: Lawrence, never once. How could I, when I’ve been lavishly rewarded for it? Same for you of course. Nobody gave a f**k about Lewis, but after a year of carefully just-over-the line racism you’re running for mayor.

LAURENCE: Did you call me Lawrence? With a ‘W’? The Reform Party got an MP, actually. Anyway, about those allegations: any truth to them? Because you are gay.

DAN: Talking of allegations, ever think it’d be the old sexism that brought you down, Lozza? Coming out with ‘I wouldn’t shag that’ on air, even if it was only GB News?

LAURENCE: Badge of pride, isn’t it? Suspended from GB News, the pair of us, squabbling like children, no longer employable by even the smallest, most slipshod, rabidly vicious organisation.

DAN: You and I are a real pair of bad boys, Lol.

LAURENCE: That’s monetisable. Don’t call me f**king Lol.

Man not about to be denied joy of ringing bus bell just because it's been done nine times

A MAN feels it was necessary for him to ding the ‘stop’ bell on a bus despite the driver neither needing him to nor appreciating it.

Joshua Hudson, 36, was on his usual number 14 bus when he saw his stop approaching. Raising his arm to press the red button, he remembered a string of other idiots had already pressed it unnecessarily several times, then did it anyway.

Hudson said: “About nine other passengers had pressed the bell. That was hard to take. It’s my job, dinging the bell. No one can take that away from me. It’s about the only thing I’m good at.

“Instead of assuming the driver knew he needed to stop, and probably has a light on the dashboard to remind him, I decided to jab the button with my finger. I love jabbing the button with my finger. It’s the main reason I get the bus. The thrill of ringing that bell is second to none. The power. The colours. The ding.

“I pressed it several times to be on the safe side. The drivers probably get so distracted they need it ringing 14, 15 or even 16 times. And I am more than happy to do that.

“When the bus stopped I made my way to the front, ringing the bell again for good measure. When I got off I gave the driver a thumbs-up and a wink. He just shook his head – obviously having a wry little chuckle at the crazy world of driving a bus.”

Driver Wayne Hayes said: “Every stop it’s the f**king same. Ding ding ding ding ding. One of these days I’m going to drive off a bridge. Hopefully take some of these bell bastards with me.”

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