Lifestyle

A TEEN’S attempts to look hard have been fatally undermined by his decision to wear a full tan sweatsuit that makes him resemble a giant cuddly toy.

NOT sure when you should be putting on deodorant? More often than you are now, says teenage Lynx addict Wayne Hayes.

A COUPLE have given up their life in the country to pursue their dream of earning enormous salaries and living in a tiny property in London. 

ARE you a man who allows your partner to buy your underpants for you? Here are the other ways she's accidentally strayed into parenting you.

A HARDCORE porn website is convinced its various attempts to celebrate Christmas will be popular with people who went there to grimly wank themselves off.

DEPUTY prime minister Oliver Dowden has advised Britons over-reliant on the internet to stock up on candles, batteries and pornographic magazines.

THE reason your tree is lopsided no matter how much you adjust it is because it is already shitfaced, experts have confirmed.

A SNOWMAN you made in the back garden is to remain in place after all other snow melts to remind you of what a poor job you did.

A PORTLY middle-aged goth has confirmed there is a limit to the slimming capabilities of an all-black wardrobe.

CITY dwellers who relocated to the countryside for a quieter life find their friendly, helpful village neighbours an absolute pain in the backside.